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SHARK REEF
A Publication of the Lopez Writers
Guild
Vol. 5, No. 2
May 2005
How to Buy a Bathing Suit
by Iris Graville
Plans for a March vacation in Mexico, and the recognition that my 10-year-old bathing suit is well past its prime, compelled me to go shopping for a new swimsuit. In the middle of January. This is a shopping trip I've never enjoyed, even when I was thirty years younger and weighed twenty-five pounds less. Now, despite having come of age when women learned to love our bodies, ourselves, I avoid this task even more. I don't think I'm alone, so I offer this how-to for buying a bathing suit.
Pick the coldest day of the year
and wear long underwear, wool socks, a turtleneck, and a scarf
to the clothing store. Go to the rack of swimsuits and search
for those in sizes with two digits they're at the far end
of the last quarter of the rack. Avoid styles with leg openings
that reach up to the suit's waistline. Take an armload of suits
into the dressing room and strip down to your underpants. When
you find a suit that fits, imagine yourself sipping a cool drink
beside a shimmering blue pool disregard the black wool socks
on your feet, the blast of cold air that ruffles the dressing
room curtain when someone comes into the store, and the fluorescent
lights that make you look like you need an iron supplement. Look
at yourself in the mirror from all angles without laughing at
the little bulges of pale flesh poking out wherever there is elastic.
Try on another suit. When the clerk pauses outside the curtain
and asks, "How's it going?" just say, "O.K."
Try one in a color you can't imagine yourself wearing. Try one
in a style you can't imagine yourself wearing. Admit they're all
in colors and styles you can't imagine yourself wearing. Put on
just enough clothes to be presentable when you go back to the
rack of swimsuits. Stick out your tongue when the clerk says,
"That style doesn't come in sizes over 10." Breathe.
Imagine a warm, sandy beach. Try one more suit. Remove. Try on
suit you tried earlier. Ignore goose bumps on your arms and legs.
Decide that this one, with its subtle blue floral print, halter
top and gentle puckers around the abdomen does the best job of
minimizing the effects of gravity on your middle-aged body. Remove
suit and hang on hook while you put on long underwear, jeans,
turtleneck, and scarf. Take hat, coat, and swimsuit to cashier.
Hand over credit card when she rings up an amount that's more
than last week's grocery bill. Clutch bag with new swimsuit, push
open the door of the clothing store, and pull wool hat over your
ears. Visualize floating on saltwater waves as you dodge a patch
of ice on the sidewalk.
Copyright © 2005 Iris Graville
Iris Graville is a writer, bookbinder, and public health consultant. In March, she escaped the cold, wet Northwest for Mexico, where she wore her new bathing suit.
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© 2003 Lopez Writers Guild
Made on a Mac by
Leta Currie Marshall